I fear everything

I fear everything
And yet I still have trust in this world

I sometimes call it false hope...

I have forgotten...

I have forgotten you
The one in my dream

I used to walk with you
Hand in hand
By the old meadow

I have forgotten you
The one in my heart

I used to talk to you every night
About the future
About our lives

I have forgotten you
The one in my mind

You used to hold me close
You used to look in my eyes

I have forgotten you
The one who surpassed time

We used to see one another
Despite our differences
Despite our paths in life...

Thoughts of him...

Just when I think I don't need you.... you find a way back in.
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I can't fall for it, I can't fall for you... not again.
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This is completely stupid of me. It's pointless to feel this way for you.
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Why do you say you miss me when I know you dont?

Why do you want to be around me when I know I bother you?

Why do you look at me the way you do when no one's around?

Why do you hold me so tight where no one can see?

What is this stupid hold you have on me?

I know I don't like you....
I know....
But, there is something about you that I can't quite get.
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It sucks....

It sucks.
This heart has been broken so many times as a consequence of my foolish and fiendish mind.....

After all these years...

After all these years I still find myself thinking of you....

Floating, falling

Floating on air
Drifting slowly into your arm
Walking on a cloud of charm
Staring at hope in the eye

Falling hard
Slammed to the ground
Shattered and broken

We all have or will have our own story when it comes to meeting the love of our life. It may happen out of the blue or build up from a friendship. I can't wait to see how my story will play out.

I wish...

I'm not mad and I'm not bitter. I just wish the circumstances were different.  I wish we didn't know the same people, I wish we didn't go to the same school, I wish we didn't work at the same job.... I wish I never met you. Slowly you are behaving as if though we never knew eachother, and that's fine, but don't expect me to remind you when you want to relive those moments. We were friends and I thought we still were, but clearly you moved on before I even knew you were gone....

Hoping

I still carry hope that you will come find me. At my saddest moment, in my darkest hour I feel you will come find me and hold me in your arms so closely, so tightly that you would never want to let me go.... I sadly still carry this hope that you are out there looking for me as I am looking for you.

You are nothing more than a dream to me now....

“I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen.”

- A. A. Milne -

I'm not going to put myself in this sad sick twisted illusion that the world is nothing but gumdrops and rainbows, but I also refuse to believe that it's all filled with horrible blood thirsty miscreants. This world is truly what we make of it. And I choose to see the good and the bad in everything.... it all happens for a reason, it all plays out the way it does for a purpose but it's up to us to interpret what the signs mean...

Sometimes I feel like my life could be full of chaos and turmoil and all I'll think about is eating a sandwich....😑 a damn good sandwich.

The only thing I can do now is look you in the eyes and wish you nothing but the best...

-MNFLWR

Remember, this.

You are wonderful. You hold so much in you that you don't understand. It saddens me that you can't see that sometimes. You are a perfect creation and there is no one else out there like you. Every moment you witnessed, every obstacle you have overcome has led you to where you are now. I know,  in some perspective, your current state of mind is not ideal, but this moment is a moment you can learn from. You are wonderful in every aspect and form. Thunk back to all that you have seen, all that you faced and all that you have triumphed. I'm sure when you look back everything will make sense.... you are wonderful, never forget that.

Keep your demons close, they know all your secrets....

There is a cycle here. He like you, you like someone else, who likes your friend, that apparently likes the guy that likes you... um, why?

Thinking...

Beneath the silent moon I watch the stars above me. I gaze upon our endless sky and wonder about all we see, all we feel, and all we know. There is so much we have yet to discover and with each passing day we learn more and more. It simply amazes me what else lies before us. It amazes me what more we have to learn until we truly and fully understand our purpose. Each day passes and I'm grateful, grateful for all that I have and for all that I've learned. I may not know as much as the person next to me, but I'm willing to take a chance and understand....

I'll wait for you, always....

I long to know what others have lived. I long to see the world and truly recognize it's beauty. There are so many worlds out there that live different lives. Though each world shares the same sky the view varies in perspective.

I realized....

I had nothing more of a realization when I saw you today.
It was completely clear,
it was horribly plain. 
You stood there, looking at me, stared at me, and I can feel you pull away.
You tell me nothing will change and you claim nothing has,
Yet when you stand there and look at me I know it's never going to be the same.

I Remember You

I remember the last time you spoke to me, I remember the last words you said. It was such a while ago but they still ring clear in my ears. I remember the last time I saw you, the last time we locked eyes. It was such a long time ago, but I can remember it so. You never made sense to me, you never honed the qualities I ever desired in a person, yet somehow, you seemed perfect to me. Somehow in my own deceitful mind I believed you were amazing, different, and wonderful, despite the feelings you had. A long time ago I wanted you… now all I do is think back and wonder why I ever did…

You were only an idea...

You became a dream to me. Something of a beautiful concept my conscious mind could not preceive. What truly captivates me is the look in your eyes, the sound of your laugh and the sincerity  in your soul. Hopefully I have the courage to one day tell you so…..

-MNFLWR

I lose myself in the idea of you…

-MNFLWR